Besides being excellent movies, the Indiana Jones saga has a lot to offer in way of life lessons. In my first in a series of countdowns, I am counting down the Top 6 Life-Lessons Learned from the Indiana Jones Movies.

 And away we go...

#6- When doing something illegal, always keep the engines running!

At the beginning of The Raiders of the Lost Ark, Indiana Jones is trespassing in the Temple of the Chachapoyan Warriors. No “if ands or buts” about it. When they catch him, they chase him through the jungle in their thongs and shoot darts at him. No doubt if they would have caught him, they would have eaten him. While Indy is making his escape, Jock, the get-away pilot, is leisurely fishing WITH THE ENGINES OFF! As soon as Indy sees this he frantically yells, “Jock! Start the engines!” Indiana Jones and Jock narrowly escape. If Jock would have had the engines running, their escape would have been less dramatic, but their margin of error would have been greater. I am not encouraging illegal activity, but if you are to do something outside the law, make sure your get-away driver keeps the engines running. You never know when you will need those precious seconds.

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#5- Always keep your ticket
   
When the Nazis were looking for the Indiana Jones on the zeppelin, Indy employed some quick thinking and obtained the jacket of one of the flight’s crew members. He then approached the Nazi and asked him for his ticket. When the Nazi failed to provide it, Indy promptly kicked his ass and threw him out the window. The passengers were shocked, but Indy quickly defused the situation when he explained, “No ticket!” So, in order to avoid confusion and misunderstandings, make sure you have a ticket and keep the stub/receipt.

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#4- Guns are better than swords

When Indiana Jones was in Cairo looking for Marion, he was confronted by an expert swordsman. The black hooded figure did some sword flourishes to try and intimidate Indy, but Dr. Jones would have no part of it. Instead, Indy simply pulled out his pistol and shot the sword wielder in the chest, instantly killing him. The moral of the story is this: If you are hired to assassinate someone, a sword is a poor choice. Instead, consider using a firearm. As Indy demonstrated, a gun makes a better choice than a sword.

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#3- When making an exchange, have the other guy go first
   
When stealing the idol in the Temple of the Chachapoyan Warriors, Indy sets off a series of traps, one of which would seal him in the temple forever. His guide was on the other side of a large gap with Indy’s whip while Indy was on the other side with the idol. When Indy tells him to throw him the whip, the guide demands the idol in trade. With his choices limit and time running out, Indy throws him the idol. Instead of giving Indy the whip, the guide tosses it down the pit and Indy is left to die. Luckily Indy was resourceful enough to escape without the whip, but you are no Indiana Jones and may not be so lucky. When faced with a life-and-death exchange, make the other person give you the “whip” first. I don’t care if they claim that there is “no time to argue”, protect your interests and insist they go first to avoid double-crosses.

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#2- Asian people are advanced

Any academic can cite studies showing that Asians score better on tests than Americans. A single viewing of The Temple of Doom could have save them a lot of time and money. Indiana Jones, a professor, could have had anyone he wanted as a business partner, yet he chose a nine year old Asian boy. Short Round wasn’t just around to fill an affirmative action quota, he was a productive member of Indy’s inner circle. He gave Indy advice and even drove him around Shanghai. So, if you ever find yourself in need of a driver, you might want to consider hiring an Asian boy. A quick warning though: there is usually a stigma attached to people who pal around with little boys.

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#1- Nazis are bad

At every turn of the movies the Nazis were trying to kill, capture, or steal from Indian Jones. They kidnapped Marion, burned books and had funny accents. Frankly, I cannot think of a better foil for Indiana Jones than the Nazis. There is no better way to teach young children about the Nazis than to expose them to the Indiana Jones movies. The movies are a way to get kids to hate Nazis without exposing them to the horrors of the Holocaust. Then, when they get older, you can show them Schindler’s List so that they can get the whole story of why the Nazis are bad.

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Agree? Disagree? Was there something I left out? Let me know in the comment section below...

My next Top 6 countdown will be “The ‘Top 6’ 80s Movie Villains.” If there is a movie villain you would like me to consider, message me on Twitter (@puppetfarmer) or email me (puppetfarmer@gmail.com)