The Top 6 Essential Facebook Fixes
Although I primarily use Twitter for my social networking, I do maintain a Facebook account. The problem is that I cannot log onto Facebook without having several things aggravate me. In this edition of “Top 6” I count down the Top 6 Essential Facebook Fixes.
By becoming a publicly traded company, Facebook now has a legal obligation to do what is in the best interest of their shareholders, and not the consumer. While this has not caused any major problems as of yet, it may in the future. Facebook’s existence is now centered on making money for their investors. Under their current business model, the task of making a profit seems impossible. Look for changes in the near future that start out slowly with a new ad here or there, and end with a completely commercialized Facebook.
It’s really annoying. If I get a friend request from “Suzy Smith” I want to see what she looks like. A picture of Stifler's Mother doesn’t help put a face to the name. Some phones sync Facebook profile pictures with contacts. One time my phone rang and when I looked down to see who was calling me, it was a picture of Jimi Hendrix.
As a matter of full disclosure, I did have Mel Gibson’s mug shot as my profile picture for a few years.
You know what I’m talking about: some girl gets a new laptop. She discovers the program “Photo Booth” and poses with her best friend. They then upload 20 pictures of themselves just sitting there next to each other. Sometimes they look at the camera, and sometimes they look at each other. Some photos may be black and white, and some photos may have different hues. The end result is the same, my feed is spammed with all of the pictures that they took that day... and they all look the same.
Okay, maybe not eliminate them, but give me an option that says: “I don’t give a fuck about Farmville.” Once it is clicked, the user does not get game invites or sees posts about games at all. I’m sorry, but when you play the word “cat” in words with friends and post it to Facebook, you do not impress anybody.
I am sick and tired of people posting pictures of someone who is sick and decrepit with the caption “Like if you are sorry he has cancer.” Or a picture of someone who was in a bad motorcycle accident with the caption, “Share if you think he should have worn a helmet.” I do not want to see these things when I go on Facebook. I want to see happy things like pictures of people at the beach or pictures of girls eating bananas.
True story: I was having a bad day and posted, “I wet the bed last night and its gone down hill from there.” Sure as the sky is blue, my mother calls me. “Jeff, did you really wet the bed!?” “No mom, I was speaking metaphorically.”
I do not want to have to filter what I post because I have my mother, my in-laws, or any other family member on Facebook. Get them off of there so that I can speak freely! It’s uncomfortable having to answer questions like “what’s a blumpkin” when they see things online.
I know some of my proposals are impossible for Facebook to implement, but it’s fun to imagine how cool of a place it could be if everyone followed my rules. What are some of the dream changes you would like to see Facebook make? Let us know in the comment section below.
#6- They Never Should Have Gone Public
By becoming a publicly traded company, Facebook now has a legal obligation to do what is in the best interest of their shareholders, and not the consumer. While this has not caused any major problems as of yet, it may in the future. Facebook’s existence is now centered on making money for their investors. Under their current business model, the task of making a profit seems impossible. Look for changes in the near future that start out slowly with a new ad here or there, and end with a completely commercialized Facebook.
#5- Do Not Allow People to use Photos of Celebrities as their Profile Picture
It’s really annoying. If I get a friend request from “Suzy Smith” I want to see what she looks like. A picture of Stifler's Mother doesn’t help put a face to the name. Some phones sync Facebook profile pictures with contacts. One time my phone rang and when I looked down to see who was calling me, it was a picture of Jimi Hendrix.
As a matter of full disclosure, I did have Mel Gibson’s mug shot as my profile picture for a few years.
#4- No Posting 20 Pictures of the Same Thing
You know what I’m talking about: some girl gets a new laptop. She discovers the program “Photo Booth” and poses with her best friend. They then upload 20 pictures of themselves just sitting there next to each other. Sometimes they look at the camera, and sometimes they look at each other. Some photos may be black and white, and some photos may have different hues. The end result is the same, my feed is spammed with all of the pictures that they took that day... and they all look the same.
#3- Eliminate Games
Okay, maybe not eliminate them, but give me an option that says: “I don’t give a fuck about Farmville.” Once it is clicked, the user does not get game invites or sees posts about games at all. I’m sorry, but when you play the word “cat” in words with friends and post it to Facebook, you do not impress anybody.
#2- No Pictures of Mutilated People
I am sick and tired of people posting pictures of someone who is sick and decrepit with the caption “Like if you are sorry he has cancer.” Or a picture of someone who was in a bad motorcycle accident with the caption, “Share if you think he should have worn a helmet.” I do not want to see these things when I go on Facebook. I want to see happy things like pictures of people at the beach or pictures of girls eating bananas.
#1- Get my Mom off of Facebook
True story: I was having a bad day and posted, “I wet the bed last night and its gone down hill from there.” Sure as the sky is blue, my mother calls me. “Jeff, did you really wet the bed!?” “No mom, I was speaking metaphorically.”
I do not want to have to filter what I post because I have my mother, my in-laws, or any other family member on Facebook. Get them off of there so that I can speak freely! It’s uncomfortable having to answer questions like “what’s a blumpkin” when they see things online.
I know some of my proposals are impossible for Facebook to implement, but it’s fun to imagine how cool of a place it could be if everyone followed my rules. What are some of the dream changes you would like to see Facebook make? Let us know in the comment section below.
Jeffrey Nowak is a VOG Staff Writer.
Ramaditya
7/17/2012 11:42 PM
Reply
The best way for me to use Facebook is to enter m.facebook.com no matter what device I use. Clean interface, no adds, and faster!